It’s come to my attention that I have a control problem. I have always been in the ‘want it all or nothing’ phase for a while. Wanting to be in control of all my hopes and dreams and fantasies have now gotten me in a rut. I big one at that.
I could say that I’m okay like I do to every person I am not close with but that would be a lie. I started this blog, as I say all the time, to have an honest and open platform for not only me but for others as well. I love hearing other people stories or love seeing the comments I get on my social media accounts or even the few comments I got on my blog when I first revamped on self-hosted. It gave me and still gives me great joy to talk with you all. But again the whole ‘all of nothing’ gets in the way often times.
I noticed that if I don’t post on time, I just don’t post at all. I shouldn’t do that anymore. I have A LOT to talk about. From telling a boy I think he’s hot, to hating college, to trying to get my weight under control, to just trying to find myself. Not to mention the book that I am writing.
I have come to the conclusion that it is time to just let go of control of everything. Not everything works out, and that in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Things don’t work out for a reason. We may not see them now, but later on in life, I’m sure I’m going to realize it. So why not thank God for now? I still have transportation, I may not be getting straight As, but I have the blessing to be going to school. I have friends who love me and think I’m awesome even when I can’t see it. Most importantly, I have a platform that can give me freedom.
With that being said, here is my letting go of control, and letting God. I’m Andrea, here’s to being free!
