Let’s be honest, we all love the single life at first. But as time goes on – people getting engaged, making families, loving their partners, having dinner reservations for two. Makes me roll my eyes just thinking about it. Where is my fairy tale partner?
Let’s not get it twisted, even as a plus size woman, I still have guys wanting to “get to know me”. But there is always something that pulls me away five minutes into the conversation. In those five minutes I imagined the future. It didn’t involve them.
Nowadays there’s only a few things I think are deal breakers in the first five minutes. The first one if definitely if he asks if I still obtain my v-card, second, he can’t hold a conversation, and third, if in the five minutes he doesn’t ask me a question that involves getting to know my personality and not anything along the lines of when he asks me what I’m doing and I ask him he says he’s ‘getting out the shower’. (Why do I need to know that?!)
Looking at the few relationships I have seen over the years, it has further solidified my demand for not just wanting to mingle or have the common bed buddy and seeing how it goes. I want to date with purpose.
Dating with Intention is something that is rarely heard of, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t practiced. It just means that some don’t have a name for it.
You ever heard of those people who in less than a year are married, and then thirty years into the relationship they are still going strong and your’e wondering how they did it? I think it has something to with intentions.
When I say dating with intention, I literally mean what I say. Dating with the purpose of in the future getting married. Not in 5 years, but soon. Getting to know the good and bad of the person and really taking the time to see if you and your partner are compatible. For the God lovers like myself- putting God first in your relationship and dating with the purpose of making sure you are with your soulmate.
Not ‘having fun and seeing where it goes’.
Thinking about this topic made me think…this isn’t such a bad idea! Let’s talk about the benefits.
1. You don’t Waste time
It always made me slight curious as to why people get married so late. Dating for 5 years before being engaged for 4 then getting married. Why didn’t you get married 2 years in if you knew you were going to be with him forever?! I get it, people have different types of relationships, totally okay. But 9 years before making it official. That’s a lot of waiting for me. Tell me your opinion! I’m actually curious.
2. Your’e Both on the Same Page
When dating with intention, communication becomes vital in knowing if two partners are meant for each other. It’s not about vibin’ out and seeing where things go. It’s about actively dating to one day marry the person you are giving your time and heart to. This also includes the benefit of building the right foundation in a relationship. Being open, and knowing what each other wants in the relationship. Which in the end can make a healthy relationship, instead of the relationship that has you dashing across the bed before his cell locks.
3. Equally Yoked
This is something I have to say at first was something I wasn’t really into. But as I attempt to grow in my faith, I now realize how important it is to me- and of course the great almighty above. Having a person you don’t feel complete with may be fine now, but what about when kids are involved and your beliefs don’t align? How are those arguments going to go? Dating with purpose can help prevent those problems. Now we know that ten years from now we aren’t going to be the same person. But our roots I’d like to think stay the same. Those, we always go back to.
These reasons may be short, but they pack a big punch in a relationship. Especially once milestone anniversaries become a thing. I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to have fun. Everyone has that phase. But at the same time, not everyone. At least not an old soul like me. Why have fun and get my heart broken when I can wait for the one that I’m supposed to have and teach me good lessons and not bad ones.
What do you think? Is intentional dating too much to ask in your 20s? Or is it why people these days are drawn to older partners?
